I’ll come straight to the point – there is a severe lack of women on this planet enjoying the birthing experience, let alone walking away from it with a profound depth of empowerment. What is going so wrong? When I tried to talk to women in my life about birth during my first pregnancy, how it felt to them, little was shared. Time and time again I was met with an awkward smile, and the forced following words: “You’ll be fine.” Unfortunately, to me those words only seemed to have an oxymoronic effect.
Though the words were the attempt at comfort and support, which of course I appreciated, the energy behind that statement actually came across more like sympathy – as these women couldn’t help but relive their own experiences in their mind – which to them would translate to my experience.
As I write this now, I’ve just had an image come to my mind – two doors. As if when we discover we are pregnant, we have access to those two doors, but because so many choose the first door, or perhaps more to the point, we feel that that is our only option, the second door is forgotten – maybe even hidden.
The first door is choosing medical support – but the second door is unlocked when we choose to first put trust in our abilities, our bodies, our babies and the process, and then finding the care provider who has the same belief. Who believes it is you who is in control, and respects that your birth will happen on its own time-line – ideally untouched, undisturbed. Unless the need arises for medical attention, you have no reason to believe that your pregnancy can’t unfold smoothly and that your birth can’t unfold without medical management. It makes that difficult, however, when we are thwarted at every turn – told to believe the complete opposite is true.
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What if one by one we felt that pregnancy and birth was ours – not something to hand over? What if we thought of pregnancy and birth as the ultimate expression of our power? That should be something to protect, not to give up. What if we all started to openly acknowledge the level of intuition we have, which is especially heightened during pregnancy, and what that means for guiding ourselves and our babies safely through our pregnancy journeys?
The word ‘risk’ places a dark shadow over the word ‘birth’ – why has this come to be? How differently would we feel about birth if we were exposed to the truth on a daily basis? The ratings just aren’t there for the tabloid headlines which read: “Mother gives birth to healthy baby – again.” Or, “Mother went into labour spontaneously, listened to her body and her baby and gave birth in a position that felt right to her in her home.” Or, “Mother calmly breathed through her contractions and birthed her baby with joy.” What if we received a notification on social media every time birth just unfolded on its own – mother and baby healthy, ecstatically happy and now bonding and getting to know each other? Yes, complications happen, but if we truly knew of the magnitude of births which just flow, our view of birth would change overnight.
As more of us go into pregnancy and birth with an open heart and an acceptance of the process, true appreciation of our bodies and how beautifully they will facilitate labour and birth, the more of us will emerge from the experience forever changed; forever changed for the better. When a woman in our lives asks us about birth and how it felt, we won’t just say “you’ll be fine,” we’ll want to jump onto the couch, Tom Cruise style, bursting with love, happiness and enthusiasm that can’t be bottled, unable to keep up with all the magnificent words that come to mind and describe the experience as best as possible – and can describe the experience for this woman, too!
I loved, absolutely loved, every single part of my homebirth – it was a portal to power, unwavering trust, transcendence, bliss and total euphoria! It showed me facets of myself I did not know existed, and taught me that I can draw on this strength and power whenever I need it in life – it taught me that I am limitless. It fills me with utter delight to think of all women feeling this way about birth…I’ll just climb down from the couch now…or join me up here and tell everyone how beautiful birth is, what they have to look forward to and how it has changed you!
From the Womb to the World
Thank you for reading my blog post! I welcome your comments.
A heartfelt thank you to the lovely Belle Verdiglione for allowing the use of her stunning image, and I’d also like to thank the beautiful family! Please visit Belle’s Facebook page or her website to discover more of her work, and find out what she could create for you!