How To Describe Birth To A First-Time Pregnant Woman

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Image used courtesy of Belle Verdiglione – Belle Verdiglione – Perth Birth & Motherhood Photographer

I’ll come straight to the point – there is a severe lack of women on this planet enjoying the birthing experience, let alone walking away from it with a profound depth of empowerment. What is going so wrong? When I tried to talk to women in my life about birth during my first pregnancy, how it felt to them, little was shared. Time and time again I was met with an awkward smile, and the forced following words: “You’ll be fine.” Unfortunately, to me those words only seemed to have an oxymoronic effect.

Though the words were the attempt at comfort and support, which of course I appreciated, the energy behind that statement actually came across more like sympathy – as these women couldn’t help but relive their own experiences in their mind – which to them would translate to my experience.

As I write this now, I’ve just had an image come to my mind – two doors. As if when we discover we are pregnant, we have access to those two doors, but because so many choose the first door, or perhaps more to the point, we feel that that is our only option, the second door is forgotten – maybe even hidden.

The first door is choosing medical support – but the second door is unlocked when we choose to first put trust in our abilities, our bodies, our babies and the process, and then finding the care provider who has the same belief. Who believes it is you who is in control, and respects that your birth will happen on its own time-line – ideally untouched, undisturbed. Unless the need arises for medical attention, you have no reason to believe that your pregnancy can’t unfold smoothly and that your birth can’t unfold without medical management. It makes that difficult, however, when we are thwarted at every turn – told to believe the complete opposite is true.

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What if one by one we felt that pregnancy and birth was ours – not something to hand over? What if we thought of pregnancy and birth as the ultimate expression of our power? That should be something to protect, not to give up. What if we all started to openly acknowledge the level of intuition we have, which is especially heightened during pregnancy, and what that means for guiding ourselves and our babies safely through our pregnancy journeys?

The word ‘risk’ places a dark shadow over the word ‘birth’ – why has this come to be? How differently would we feel about birth if we were exposed to the truth on a daily basis? The ratings just aren’t there for the tabloid headlines which read: “Mother gives birth to healthy baby – again.” Or, “Mother went into labour spontaneously, listened to her body and her baby and gave birth in a position that felt right to her in her home.” Or, “Mother calmly breathed through her contractions and birthed her baby with joy.” What if we received a notification on social media every time birth just unfolded on its own – mother and baby healthy, ecstatically happy and now bonding and getting to know each other? Yes, complications happen, but if we truly knew of the magnitude of births which just flow, our view of birth would change overnight.

As more of us go into pregnancy and birth with an open heart and an acceptance of the process, true appreciation of our bodies and how beautifully they will facilitate labour and birth, the more of us will emerge from the experience forever changed; forever changed for the better. When a woman in our lives asks us about birth and how it felt, we won’t just say “you’ll be fine,” we’ll want to jump onto the couch, Tom Cruise style, bursting with love, happiness and enthusiasm that can’t be bottled, unable to keep up with all the magnificent words that come to mind and describe the experience as best as possible – and can describe the experience for this woman, too!

I loved, absolutely loved, every single part of my homebirth – it was a portal to power, unwavering trust, transcendence, bliss and total euphoria! It showed me facets of myself I did not know existed, and taught me that I can draw on this strength and power whenever I need it in life – it taught me that I am limitless. It fills me with utter delight to think of all women feeling this way about birth…I’ll just climb down from the couch now…or join me up here and tell everyone how beautiful birth is, what they have to look forward to and how it has changed you!

In gratitude,

Alison

From the Womb to the World
www.wombtotheworldmusic.com

Thank you for reading my blog post! I welcome your comments.

A heartfelt thank you to the lovely Belle Verdiglione for allowing the use of her stunning image, and I’d also like to thank the beautiful family! Please visit Belle’s Facebook page or her website to discover more of her work, and find out what she could create for you!

 


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10 thoughts on “How To Describe Birth To A First-Time Pregnant Woman

    • Love that I CAN jump for joy about my birth, and just want to see other women feeling the same way!

  1. I absolutely loved my home birth after c section. The most beautiful experience ever. It was so empowering. My baby waa 4.62kg, only engaged during labour, posterior. I had bad back labour and screamt so loud with each contraction. I pushed for 3 hours. But i would do it again… the bliss vetween contractions. Knowing i grew this baby inside of me and now i was going to birth him and hold him on my arms was amazing. Women should not be scared of birth. It can be beautiful if you let it.

    • Hi Carina,

      Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful homebirth experience, and for your words of encouragement for other women!

      Best wishes,

      Alison

      • I’m up there on that couch….and enjoy sharing my birth stories it is empowering even now! I wish every woman to feel that eurphoria.

        • Hi Rachaelle,

          Nice to see you up on the couch! 🙂 YES! Do keep sharing your stories and empowering other women; it’s so needed! We can’t hear enough of the positive.

          Best wishes,

          Alison xx

  2. What a lovely post. My friend just sent it to me.

    My first pregnancy was with twins and I handed myself over to the medical profession completely, only for my body to sort things out a lot quicker than they had hoped. My planned c-section became 2 deliveries, one with forceps, lots of medication and buckets of fear.

    This time round I feel I am having my baby and not the hospital and am planning for a jump on that sofa, scream from the roof tops, for me and my baby to experience this together.

    • Hi Josephine,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me such beautiful feedback – I’m thrilled that this spoke to you!

      I love what you say about *you* having your baby and not the hospital, and for you and your baby to experience the birth together as a team. I am sure I’m going to be seeing you up on that couch when you come down from the rooftops! 🙂 Have the most beautiful, empowering and connected birth, Josephine!

      Best wishes,

      Alison xx

  3. Hi Alison,

    Just loved your post!

    I’ve been so scared to give birth because of everybody around me telling me horror stories and that I should rather get an epidural etc.

    My decision is to have a natural waterbirth, and everyone around me is trying to convince me otherwise…

    Thank you for your post. Definitely going to share it.

    Kind Regards,
    Pennelope

    • Hi Pennelope,

      My sincerest apologies – I had responded to your comment, but just see now that for some reason it did not get posted!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know that you loved my post and for your support; I’m thrilled that the post spoke to you!

      I can relate strongly to what you are experiencing. During my first pregnancy, as I would speak to the women around me about birth and choosing a natural birth, I was shocked as they would actively try to dissuade me – so I just stopped talking about it, turned inward, meditated and kept a quiet confidence in myself. It’s vitally important that we remind ourselves of why we have made these decisions, and that we also remember who we are. We obviously don’t all choose to give birth the same way, but that should never result in being told we should change our minds if others don’t agree, or would not make the choice for themselves. It can feel isolating when it seems that we don’t have the support around us, but there is always support out there.

      I’d like to invite you to have a look at my Facebook page – a space I have lovingly created for empowerment, encouragement and education for all things pregnancy, birth and beyond – with a strong focus on the beauty of birth! You will see how many other women who follow the page LOVE giving birth, too, and how many of them experience the birth they intend to. I celebrate birth, and I celebrate women and our infinite abilities!

      Just as an aside, if you’re interested in a personal experience, I had a waterbirth at home, and it could not have been more gentle or peaceful, and this is my intention for next birth in March next year!

      Follow your heart, Pennelope, and keep your focus on your beautiful birth and believe in yourself!

      Wishing you a beautiful and empowered pregnancy journey, and I hope to see you on the Facebook page sometime http://www.facebook.com/fromthewombtotheworld

      Best wishes,

      Alison xx

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