I keep having the most beautiful and uplifting recurring dream – it is about the birth of my next child. Just as can happen with dreams, they’re not always prophetic, and I’m being kept guessing – sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a boy – but the constant is that the birth is primal, instinctual and powerful. The rooms in the house change as to where I bring this beautiful soul into being, but it’s usually in the kitchen. No real surprises there, as the kitchen is considered to be the heart of the home. After a few pushes which feel more like my body is just taking my consciousness where it needs to go, as opposed to actively engaging my muscles, baby is born into my hands; always alert and smiling, my delightful independent midwife elated and standing by me.
I have every reason to believe that this will be the way my next birth will play out; and as I acknowledge the power of focused intention, decided to write my future birth story. I guess it’s just an elaboration of a personalised birth plan. I’m not yet pregnant with this child, but I am pregnant with joy, confidence and total excitement to birth and meet them!
So what has fueled my desire for this piece? Many things; but above all, to express with abandon what a birthing experience enveloped in total trust looks like, and just how much I wish for other women to feel the same way about their impending, or even ‘some day’, births.
As I read, and really felt, the words of the most empowering birth story, written by Shalome Stone, a highly motivated woman whom I have had the pleasure of connecting with, I realised that the way Shalome approached her birth, is the way I will approach my next birth. Shalome strives to empower and support women and their birthing choices, and her story has certainly empowered me. Read her birthing goddess experience here! I have given birth naturally twice before, and just as I know how my body responds during the process, I know that the next birth is something I will now allow myself to enjoy.
If you’ve read some of my other pieces, you’ll know that to date I have had a disempowering hospital birth, and an empowering and exulting homebirth. Yes, leading up to my homebirth, I was feeling confident; yet that shadow of doubt, though small, was still present and would try to dim my light as the birth neared. My two births were different, but the same, as both times I realised afterwards that I never had anything to fear. The unfoldings of my homebirth showed me the absolute beauty, power and intelligence of undisturbed birth, and that birth in the energetics of love, not fear, means being open – open-hearted, open-minded and ready to expand physically and emotionally. Open to receive not only new life, but to receiving that life with a certain ecstasy – not dread.
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As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Everything is hard before it is easy.” This only applies to birth if we take on the fear – there’s no reason it can’t be ‘easy’ the first time – but perhaps in this instance I will interchange the word “easy” with joyous.
It’s taken two births for me to see with crystal clarity what doubt does to us, and I would so dearly love to be able to take you by the hand and to tell you that fear and doubt detract hugely from our ability to just be in the moment; listening to our bodies and babies, trusting that all is well, all is as it should be. Please don’t see birth as an unknown – you will know what to do – I guarantee it. Think of it like this. Women have been birthing their babies for aeons, you’re not the first to, you won’t be the last. Draw on the power of every woman who came before you, who crossed the sacred threshold of woman to mother. The power is in every one of us; the knowledge, the ability – it’s all just in us. Delve in to your research surrounding your birthing choices so that you can gain confidence in your decisions and garner perspective on what to expect, but let all of those decisions be underpinned by an unwavering belief in yourself. If that belief is your foundation, then your choices are incidental.
I’ve made reference to this before, but I will do so again. We don’t deflate someone with negative talk prior to surgery, and it’s only through society’s conditioning that we’ve allowed, for far too long, for people to speak to pregnant women this way prior to labour and birth. This can only reflect a disrespect for birth, yet reverence for the medical profession. The premise seems to be that we can trust wholeheartedly in the work of a surgeon, but we can’t trust in the work of a labouring woman. Birth should be revered – birthing women should be revered – your ability should be revered.
My partner, Clayton, and I are already setting the wheels in motion in preparation for the birth, and to welcome another child into our hearts and home. Clayton is a talented musician, and with my input, as I envisage myself in ‘birth space,’ we are creating an album of birthing music together. It already helps me to transcend the here and now when I listen to it, and as I go deeper, I get flashes in mind’s eye of the birth. This album is being produced with love and excitement, with deliberation, as I notice a part of the music which may take me out of my focus, and may better connect me to my breathing by making a change to the tempo, for example. The music will be truly ours, but when it’s finished, I look forward to sharing it with the world – it will be far too inspirational to just keep to ourselves! (EDIT: the album, ‘Surrounded by Nature’, has now been released and is now available at www.wombtotheworldmusic.com).
This is the result of an empowering and exhilarating homebirth. Both Clayton and I have become so moved and inspired by birth, that we’re filled with excitement for the next one, and obviously, already preparing for it in multiple ways, on multiple levels. As a woman, I have been so profoundly impacted by birth, and have become so aware of both my ability and of the magic in the domino effect of hormones that kick off labour and then allow it to unfold with each physiological reaction, that I have every reason to feel confident – to just trust. I can’t foretell the tiny nuances which will make up the birth story, but what I do know, heart and soul, is that my next birth is already in the makings, as I send out my intentions to the universe – feeling with every fibre of my being what it means to really look forward to the birth – to know I’ve already ‘got this’.
From the Womb to the World
Thank you for reading my blog post! I welcome your comments.
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