Another two weeks gone, another two weeks closer to meeting our beautiful baby boy! My emotions flit from pure excitement to a little bit of sadness, as I realise my third and final pregnancy journey is fast coming to an end. Pregnancy niggles will soon be a thing of the past and I will barely remember them, and these are the remaining weeks for the rest of my life that I will know what it feels like to have life growing, moving and thriving within me – for all of these reasons, I am truly savouring this golden time – every little discomfort; from feet which I can’t seem to shift from under my ribs, to those lightning strikes which can shoot down my legs as baby is shifting lower and preparing to engage himself in my pelvis. As with the intensity which comes with birth itself, it’s all about perspective, acceptance and surrender. I choose to enjoy and truly notice and feel the building reminders of pregnancy, and to feel the gratitude for it all – just as I will when I am working with my body to bring my baby into my arms.
As I write this and look around our bedroom, there is ever-increasing confirmation that he will soon be here. Baby clothes which have been sorted but are being washed gradually, the change mat which will go on the change table and be placed in the corner of the room, the baby wrap which will soon be supporting our baby; as we breathe him in and kiss his sweet head as he will be all snuggled up and chest to chest with either Clayton or I. There are also a few items which I have bought for myself to support me through birth, postpartum and my breastfeeding journey, but I will share more with you about those, and why I have chosen them, soon.
The other reminder, of course, is my ever-growing belly. As I write, I’m realising I’m losing sight of the keys on the laptop, and am watching my belly move from side to side as baby moves and stretches, and his hiccups which are becoming much more obvious from the outside! It’s also the first morning I’ve woken up and really noticed how much baby has grown, as I grabbed a dress to put on which still allowed plenty of room last week, but was convinced I hadn’t untied it to loosen it – it was completely loosened, and I don’t think I will be able to wear it comfortably next week – it kind of blew me away when I thought about the huge amount of change in my body in such a short space of time. Another perfect reminder that our bodies and babies know what they’re doing and how awe-inspiring that is!
Our baby boy has now chosen his name
What’s also been very interesting is that our baby has now chosen his name. Clayton and I felt that we “had his name,” as we had been fairly certain of for years, but as my connection increased with our little boy, when I referred to him with that name, I didn’t feel that he was happy with it or affirming it.
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I began searching for names on the Internet – nothing was sitting well, and I still really liked the name we had, so didn’t put it completely aside. I asked my sister if she had any baby name books, and she gave me three the next time we saw each other. Nothing again – or so I thought.
A few days later, I sat down with the books, and asked for more guidance from my baby. All of a sudden, the name just seemed to jump out at me, and what was really interesting, was that when I went to share it with Clayton, I sort of dropped the book as I passed it to him, only to discover it was on the very page – not because it was the middle of the book, not because it was bookmarked or dog-eared – it just ‘randomly’ opened to the page. The more I talk to our baby and use his name, the more I know he has chosen it, and I love that, because our daughters chose their names, too – Aila when I was only 8 weeks pregnant with her (I was already dreaming of her and how she looked), and Indigo when I was 20 weeks pregnant with her, and just before discovering she was indeed a girl. True to her cheeky personality, she kept me guessing!
One thing’s for sure, each pregnancy, and what they teach us, is as unique as our children.
From the Womb to the World
How is your pregnancy journey unfolding? Have you found that your baby has chosen her or his name, too?
Do you need music for your birth?